11-18-2004, 12:31 AM
Paul,
Since 1997, you and I have been debating on various topics ranging from the Peshitta to Philo of Alexandria.
From the forum to personal life, I tried to imitate your rhetoric. I tried to become the man who single-handedly deconstructed opposing arguments with seeming ease.
In fact, I started trouble on the forums time and time again just so you'd do the same to me. Your methodology was a theatrical splendor to a young, confused mind. I wanted so much to become Paul.
A man with no values, traditions, or language will adapt the ways of another.
Then finally, I was granted the chance to meet my idol. I sat next to him in Church alongside Dean. We bowed together, inhaled the smoke of incense, partook Qurbana, and settled down a nice falafel cut at an Israeli diner.
O son of four hundred centuries, my blood flows like molten steel beneath the earth. The elder from Lebanon was right: One cannot approach the Light with anger in one's heart.
I am angry because I have failed myself. I've continuously set expectations for myself, only to later swat them in the heat of rising difficulty.
I am angry because I'm traded the Criterion for the worship of flesh.
I am lost to youth and pride.
You and I differ theologically and will remain so, but we serve the same God. Pray for my recovery. Pray that Alaha allows me to sincerely repent before my time comes.
May I be humbled! May this disease in my heart been lifted.
It hisses at me in my privacy. It calls to me.
Since 1997, you and I have been debating on various topics ranging from the Peshitta to Philo of Alexandria.
From the forum to personal life, I tried to imitate your rhetoric. I tried to become the man who single-handedly deconstructed opposing arguments with seeming ease.
In fact, I started trouble on the forums time and time again just so you'd do the same to me. Your methodology was a theatrical splendor to a young, confused mind. I wanted so much to become Paul.
A man with no values, traditions, or language will adapt the ways of another.
Then finally, I was granted the chance to meet my idol. I sat next to him in Church alongside Dean. We bowed together, inhaled the smoke of incense, partook Qurbana, and settled down a nice falafel cut at an Israeli diner.
O son of four hundred centuries, my blood flows like molten steel beneath the earth. The elder from Lebanon was right: One cannot approach the Light with anger in one's heart.
I am angry because I have failed myself. I've continuously set expectations for myself, only to later swat them in the heat of rising difficulty.
I am angry because I'm traded the Criterion for the worship of flesh.
I am lost to youth and pride.
You and I differ theologically and will remain so, but we serve the same God. Pray for my recovery. Pray that Alaha allows me to sincerely repent before my time comes.
May I be humbled! May this disease in my heart been lifted.
It hisses at me in my privacy. It calls to me.
???Do not give up, for that is ignorance and not according to the rules of this art... Like the lover, you cannot hope to achieve success without infinite perseverance.???